With another heatwave on the horizon next week, Histon resident Mike Willis, who has a diagnosis of Motor Neurone Disease (MND), is tackling the hot temperatures with his trademark humour. Here he shares his tips on how to stay cool in the style of Dr Seuss...
I do not like it hot one jot. Some like it hot. But I do not.
In Britain we like a good moan,
The weather’s a topic that’s never outgrown.
Too wet, too dry,
Too cold, too hot –
Whatever we’ve got,
We’d rather have not.
I don’t enjoy the heat myself.
Twenty-five degrees is quite enough.
Living with MND makes it harder,
And hot weather can be tough.
So, over the years I’ve learned a trick or two
For surviving a heatwave, and now so can you!
The night before
The trick starts the evening before heat arrives,
Not after the sun has climbed into the skies.
When daylight is fading, open windows wide,
And let cooler evening air flow inside.
Open a window downstairs and another above,
And let the air wander wherever it loves.
If it’s safe, leave windows open throughout the night,
So bedrooms stay cooler towards morning light.
Keep bright lights low if the windows are wide,
Or insects may decide they’d like to come inside.
The morning lock-up
Morning arrives and the sunshine appears,
The part of the day that confirms all your fears.
Don’t rush to throw curtains and blinds open wide,
Not on the side where the sun shines inside.
Keep sunlight outside where it belongs,
And your house will stay cooler for much, much longer.
When outside feels warmer than indoors to you,
Close all windows and doors—that’s the next thing to do.
For me that’s often around 8 or 9,
Though every house differs from time to time.
Close internal doors as you move through the house,
And keep cool air trapped as still as a mouse.
As the sun moves around, move the shade around too,
Closing curtains where sunshine is breaking through.
You’ll soon find a room that stays cooler than most,
Your heatwave headquarters, your cool little post.
Beware the breeze
One temptation catches many people out:
“Let’s open the windows and air the place out.”
But if it’s 30 degrees outside in the sun,
Bringing 30-degree air indoors is helping no one.
A breeze can cool your skin and make you feel fine,
But it doesn’t reduce the air temperature inside.
If you want the breeze, sit outside in the shade.
Keep the cool air indoors, that the night-time has made.
The basic principles
Cool the house before the sun
If you do that your first job’s done
Open up when night air’s cool.
Close up early—that’s the rule.
Keep the sunshine off the floor.
Close the curtains, shut the door.
Treat cool air like treasure you’ve carefully got.
A heatwave’s coming, like it or not.
Some like it hot... But I do not.
Original feature by Mike Willis. Converted by Mike to style above using ChatGPT.
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